Dear Poor Girl:

One of my best friends has asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding.  I immediately said YES but now realize that I simply can’t afford the dress she wants me to buy.  I barely have enough money to cover flying to Hawaii for her destination wedding, not to mention a hotel room, gifts etc.  The wedding is in 3 months and I don’t know what to do.  Help!

--Worried in Cali

Dear Worried:

Darling, I’ve seen friendships break up over this problem….I think wedding brain happens and the bride gets a little fuzzy.  But, I’m here to tell you that you can save your friendship and your hard earned cash!  Talk to the bride as soon as possible; don’t wait till the last minute.  Tell her that you love her and are honored that she asked you to be a bridesmaid but you simply cannot afford the expense of the dress.  Explain that you don’t mind sitting on the side lines and not being part of the wedding party, but, if she is willing to work out some sort of trade (the dress for your time) that you would be thrilled.  Tell her that if she pays for your dress you will help her write her thank you cards, run errands for her, or take care of her house/mail/pets while she is on the honeymoon – you get the idea. You would be surprised how much stress a bride can be under and how much she might appreciate your help.  Other options include going to a formal wear outlet where you may find discounts on the dress or searching for the dress at a discounted price online. 

You can also save money by sharing a hotel room with another wedding-goer, and by giving a simple but thoughtful gift that won’t break the bank, like a photo of the happy couple in a fun frame.

Have fun at the wedding Darlink!

Love:  Poor Girl

PS  Some advice for Brides  - you don’t need to have your bridesmaids spend a fortune on dresses.  I’ve been to a beautiful wedding where the bridesmaids wore a black dress of their choosing  (most ladies have that in their closet!).  And, then of course, my favorite: a Hawaiian themed wedding where the bridesmaids wore white t’s, sarongs, and flip-flops! 

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